Loss

Thankfully Blokey was on his rota day off today. I went to the GP's early on and then spoke to the vet on the phone about Piggle and what we needed to do. She rearranged her work to see us at the end of surgery and to ensure Piggle had a familiar face. It also gave us time to arrange for Blokeys parents to come over and care for the children. Owen wanted to go to the vets with us but I managed to talk him out of it...it wasn't in Piggy's best interest to have him there and when I explained why he understood.

She had a respectful, peaceful send off and got to say goodbye to many people. I held it together until she had gone, so did the vet (just). It was one of the hardest things I have had to do, we all wanted her to live forever. Sad that the thing that took her wasn't her advanced age but a degenerative desease similar to MS..thankfully she wasn't in pain. The children haven't known life without her ( she was 15 years old) and she was an amazing, loving soul. We are all utterly heart broken.

The following morning, there were many tears. I wasn't sure if the boys would have a delayed reaction to Piggles death, it's almost a relief to see them being able to grieve. We spend a lot of time talking things through. Piggles huge heart continues to teach them even now. There's is no point in trying to do anything for the time being except try to adjust, talk and keep busy playing. 

I tried to suggest making some cheese but the boys really weren't in the mood. They offered to do some maths. Sam is still unwell with a horrible cold and is coughing constantly. Owen is just starting with a sore throat and they both missed jujitsu last night too.

Owen makes a start whilst Sam is reluctantly showering. Both boys are not in the mood to get anything done at all. I can't say I blame them, I am feeling much the same myself. Owen refreshes his knowledge in Roman numerals and converting measurements.

Then he looked after his pet snail. 

Sam spent quite a long time on division of decimals. It was slow going but he got there in the end.

Owen has now finished the historical books I bought him and the new book my mum got for him last week. 

We watched the next instalment of Blue Planet 2 - Green Seas and were very taken with the Dragon sea 'horses'.

We also enjoyed catching up with Masterchef the professionals.

We are all so under par. Sam has a bug he cannot seem to shake off, we all feel so utterly miserable. As I have a hospital appointment our friends offer to have the children for the morning. They all have a great play together and getting out of the house cheers us all up for a little while.

The next day we do a bit of maths and cleaning round before going for a long walk. There is plenty of ice for the boys to poke and prod and Owen cheers up quite a lot. Sam enjoys bird spotting but the cold ( it is SO cold) makes his asthma bad, so we are only out for just under an hour.

Fearing the ice so the finches can access the water.

Enjoying the loud cracks and patterns forming. The children spent a good 20 mins exploring the ice by the farm.

Taking photos of the landscape and our shadows.

More stops to examine the icy puddles.

The week has been very mixed. Sam's ill health and  the loss of our much loved dog, have meant we spent a lot of time talking, resting , reading and in quiet contemplation on our own. The boys also played with friends and dozed on the sofa.

It's going to take time to adjust and adjustment exhausts the boys whilst they try to process a major change in their lives.