Well tweak my nipples and call me Susan !

So a great deal is happening as usual. Our pup is really growing, he's a big chap already and still has a way to go. He looks very wolf like but is extremely gentle and seems to be losing his baby teeth at a rate of one per day. Our dear friend Carol came over to chat about what we were doing with him at my request, just to reassure me it was all going well for the new addition. It was good to  talk to another dog lover and run through a few things, catch up generally. All is good and pup is doing well, gaining confidence and relaxed.

The boys sat and listened to everything Carol had to say! Owen is particularly interested in all things dog and likes to learn new ways of interacting with them. He is a big dog lover like his father already.

Here is a picture he took of Shadow.

I am gradually working into a new flexible routine with the children. I have to be pretty firm about meal times and medicine taking. Issues arise if meals are skipped, tempers fray and medicine is currently very important due to their respiratory complications. Saying that they are doing so much better on that score I am hopeful the problem will resolve it's self at some point. Both boys are growing rapidly at the moment, trousers suddenly too short, so am having to sort clothing etc.

Once again this week I am reminded about how the smallest change can throw things for the children. Blokey had to have an overnight stay in hospital this week. Just him not being here in the morning threw the children of kilter. It was hard keeping a lid on their anxiety, plus I am going in myself for a day proceedure this week too. It took quite a bit of careful management to get things settled and keep everything calm.

In the afternoon we read this

The boys also managed to achieve another belt in jujitsu. They found the venue and different people difficult to deal with , also the photos afterwards caused Sam some major wobbles but we all felt very proud of their achievements .

 S finds seasons very hard to fathom so we have to do a lot of reinforcement with stories and prompts about the house . It was time to change our Autumn displays over to Winter ones. We used wax resist and paint to create Winter themes and the boys worked out a mnemonic for Winter. 

After consulting our Seasons chart we marked off the things we have observed over the last month.

We were missing the Candlesnuff fungus, so the boys asked if we could go and look for some in the fields.

Off we went, with Shadow in tow.

Sadly we couldn't find any but we had great fun breaking up fallen branches with our jujitsu moves and Kung fu chicken noises...hiiiiiiiyaaaaaaa!

Managed to fill a huge bag with kindling for our fire. The boys commented on how it was like the big storm in Percy's Park, blowing all the branches down. We found a large beefsteak fungi, that had succumbed to the recent wind, but it was too far gone to eat.

The children were also excited to find the remains of a huge rocket amongst the fallen branches, especially as it had travelled at least 3 fields.

Back home for hot black currant, we lit the fire and settled down for Spongebob.

So how was it for you?

There is never a week when we are not busy. This one was no exception, even though I admit I tried my best because , well I have not been so good.

We are still experimenting with fully autonomous learning, natural learning or unschooling, depending on who you are. I can see the children are happy and enjoying the freedom. I am always on hand to help or guide and enjoy the children leading the conversations, here there and everywhere. They never cease to amaze me. Things like evaporation , jujitsu, swimming, times tables , guitar practice, games like twister , looking at our compass...the list goes on.

So this week we have visited the park more than once for a raucous time running our legs off, worked with Shadow our puppy, had friends round to visit us , went to visit friends, the library, talked to the physio therapist, GP and ASD team (sigh). I also had more bloods tests at the hospital and this is made enormously funny because the children lean over and go 'cor' as the needle goes in. 

'Does it hurt Mum?'

'Why do they put your blood in different coloured containers' 

Everything is an adventure these days.

Sam went geocaching with a friend of mine whilst Owen played with her son. Today we took the boys to our local woods, walked the dogs, the boys stopping and talking to everyone they met, collected chestnuts then went home to roast them on the fire. Yeah there is a song brewing, can you tell?

Am expanding my knowledge by reading more about John Holt and his philosophy about child lead learning. 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Legacy-John-Holt-Understood/dp/1483905489

I realise it's more about me being confident enough to trust that children will learn, as long as they are interested and happy. Often it's hard to step back and allow them to follow their own path but I am getting there. Part of my reticence is down to being under constant scrutiny from professional bodies due to the children's previous medical issues and the ASD side of things. It would appear that very few of these people trust the child or parent they are dealing with. They certainly feel they need to train both, till we behave ourselves and fit in that little, very restrictive box.

Looking at those around me that have taken this path is such a wonderful experience. The children are allowed to explore, learn and develop their interests in a stimulating environment that encompasses their whole lives. Therefore, this means they are functioning in the adult world (let's face it that's what you want in the long run) , making critical judgements, becoming independant learners and living a full life in the heart of their community. I fail to see how helpful it is shutting them away in schools, away from life, society, the only community they are mixing with is peers of the same age and the odd teacher. Why is this seen as normal ? We don't have rushed 15 mins of play now, we have full days with our friends, out doors, indoors, with people who have the time to support them as they need. We also have times of quiet contemplation, without interruption , where they can explore their ideas and be creative thinkers. I cannot emphase how important I believe this is.

If there is anyone reading this who is contemplating home educating their children please, please look at your options. I thought and thought about this, leaving the boys in school way too long when they were clearly unhappy. I doubted myself, was told I wasn't up to the job and generally undermined at every turn. Yes it's tiring but that is far out weighed by the sheer wonder of watching your child blossom into an interested, interesting individual with a mind of their own. Meal times will never be the same again.

Believe in yourself, believe in your children..all will be well. In the meantime look at these happy faces.

'We did nothing today Dad'

Owen asked for a Duck egg for breakfast. He decided it needed a cowboy hat and rushed to grab a pen so he could draw a face too. Sam was having fruit for breakfast but didn't want my egg to be left out and happily added a face to mine.

I had a number of jobs to do in the morning so the boys decided to research a few things online ( Lego Harry Potter related) then we had fish goujons, peas and fruit for lunch. We chatted over lunch about some words they  weren't sure about, I explained evaporation and we decided on our afternoon activities.

Both boys were in agreement that a very large piece of paper would be needed , so we unrolled a sheet and they grabbed some pens and scissors. Owen coped really well cutting the paper to Sam's requirements. 'Bigger Owen,  no smaller, bit more...perfect!' I couldn't tell you when the children finally mastered scissors, I know they have always found them tricksy, then suddenly today , there they are happily cutting away. They rolled their eyes when I commented, obviously thinking I was rather slow on the uptake.

Next they decided to draw around each other in different coloured pens , to see if they could spot any differences between their outlines. Much giggling ensued and I was required to help with the curly paper. Lots of extras were added to the final drawing, eyes, a curl on Sam's head and some clothes.

Finally they turned the paper over and devised a drawing, racing game....copious giggling and a nicely coloured in floor when things got more exuberant. Sam is very energetic during these games and his arms and legs fly around with gay abandonment!

We read our library books. Sam decided he wanted to read his out to Owen and I. He really enjoyed the rhyming story and once again surprised me with the words he could read confidently. It was lovely to see the big smile on his face as he enjoyed telling the story. He paused often to point things of interest out to us both and asked Owen for help once when he was unsure. We spent some time looking at a Where's Wally Book or 'instrument of torture' as I think of them. Sam and Owen are always convinced that there is some sort of trickery in play. They concentrated for far longer than I expected and we had a good chortle at some of the illustrations.

Sam then decided he had had enough and played a game of pool online whilst Owen and I looked at our Story Cubes. Owen asked if I would record the story he made in his journal and surprised me by creating a two page tale. He proudly added 'By Owen and his Mum' at the end. It would appear that writing his story down for him frees up his thoughts more and allows him to be able to be more creative with his characters and storyline.

He proudly read the story back to me, then commented on his journal only having 2 pages left. We spent some time looking back through his journal at his work. He was surprised at how much we have done since September and enjoyed looking at the photos we had taken . We then decided it would be fun to do some drawings together to complete the last 2 pages. We took turns at drawing different parts of the body . We each drew a head then swapped over and added the next bit. He thought this was very funny indeed and I took a photo of the finished people.Owen then choose a new journal and decorated the first page with his name and dictated what he wanted underneath. 

We also found a times table book and the children decided to fill in some of the pages and asked me to check their answers.

Sam and Owen then practiced their Jujistu moves, sorted out their books to take back to the library and disappeared upstairs to do some more game research.

Do I know you?

One of Sam's little quirks is his memory. He finds remembering people very hard but is so lovely everyone forgives him. Often he will strike up a conversation based on the fact I have said 'good morning ' to someone passing in the street. He thinks that if I speak to someone, then he knows them.

Conversations often go like this:

Sam: Hello, do I know you? Have we met before , I think I know your face?

Random Person: ( looking bemused and puzzled in equal measures) Erm..I don't think so.

Sam: I live ( gives address as far as he can remember it)

Random Person: Oh that's nice....

He then takes this as que to launch into whatever his favourite subject of the day barely pausing for breath. He is lovely and engaging, even when the random person has no clue what he is saying and I often have to fill in the gaps. The Randoms are often left standing with a vague , punch drunk look and as we walk away ( read, I prise Sam away by one of many distraction techniques I have up my sleeve) he usually pipes up in his 'voice that carries' 'Do I know Them?'. He has this vulnerability that I adore and that also scares me and makes me glad I am with him.

It's the same with films, even ones we have watched over and over. He cannot remember the names or characters, whether they are good or bad guys. It takes him many visits to see people and places before everything clicks and even then if there is a gap he will forget again. The key is to find something he can associate with the place we visit, something that resonates. One park is 'Bob the Builder' park because he remembers the ride he liked as a toddler. It makes me smile how doing things that prompt him have become 2nd nature to us as a family. Things that if someone else was working with him they wouldn't understand. Things that we love about him and accept. Things we believe with time he will find his own method of accommodating and working round.

It's often been commented to us that concentration for him is hard. However after spending so much time with Sam I know that this isn't the full picture at all. Find what interests him and he will give it his all, he will concentrate so hard and not give up easily. Today was a perfect example of that. 

We ordered Rockstar for the family as Brian and I would like to improve our guitar playing and the children have asked to learn too. Little hands find it hard to get the technique right but neither boy gave up and tried between them for over an hour, insisting they didn't need any help. They tuned their guitars and practiced and practiced. It was definitely worth the money and we suspect will be used a lot more and will work better than sending them to lessons every week.

I am currently trying to find my way through my doubts about how the children learn best. I read a lovely article, http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/anneo/I_Am_What_I_Am.htm which is leading me on to further reading. I still don't feel I have quite learnt enough about unschooling or autonomous learning. I still feel pulled very unhappily, as my friend T says, by 'stubborn school think'. Possibly because I am often challenged to prove where the boys are with their learning by outsiders and the extended family.

I can recommend this article 

http://www.livingjoyfully.ca/anneo/Highly_Sensitive_Shine.htm which has helped me through these last couple of months, which I will readily admit, have been frustrating and depressing. Not because of the children or their needs but because of the lack of understanding and critisim I am facing from 'professionals'.

Living the life we do, meeting the people we have, through the wonderful world of Home Educating lets me see , one size doesn't fit all, there is another way. Ok it's not mainstream and many do not understand your methods but for us it works. 

Currently I am struggling to pick my way through some issues but I am always looking to improve on any mistakes I make, change our methods to suit whatever the children's current needs are. To us it's about having the flexibility to re evaluate, change , mash up and mould our methods into a way of constantly moving forward. What it isn't is expecting the children to change themselves, who they are or to insinuate they need fixing. It is my responsibility to adapt their education, help them succeed and move forward in the least problematic manner. 

This is not to say that there aren't still frustrations for them, that the children are not expected to understand others needs, theses are very important life skills to possess. However, if support and comfort is given at the right time our children develop and flourish in to very aware individuals. Sometimes this is delayed whilst they process what happened, sometimes it's a wonderfully, spontaneous thing that happens exactly at the right time. What I have seen over the last 1.5 years of this journey is an awareness developing in their own ability, when to offer help to others and why it's ok to be different. The boys have been given a safe time and place to express themselves and develop new skills because they wanted to and were given the appropriate support at the appropriate time. Even when we have had to step back from certain activities due to difficulties we say ' maybe this isn't ok for us now. We won't give up, we will revisit this activity when we feel the time is right for us all'.

It may seem a simple technique but we are seeing some awesome results from it, some real reflection taking place and a new confidence and belief coming from the children. It's not about failure, it's about taking time to learn and find a way forward. It's a skill I am so proud to see them developing.

When the Despair Squid comes to town

Since the children and I have been unwell all week we decided to take things slow.

I often think 'oh we have done nothing' and feel a little dejected, then I come to write it all down and see we have been busy in our own ways.

Sam is going through 'interesting times', throw a virus into that and it makes for complex parenting skills to be implemented . So I felt it may be a perfect opportunity to try being fully autonomous this week and observe what the children would do.

Normally I have activities planned , which Owen responds well to this but Sam is reluctant and wary of anything I suggest. This week I had my usual list of projects ready but spent more time asking 'what do you want to do?'. Here's what they chose to do. This was with as much or as little I put from me as they wanted.

There has been copious amounts of research this week using the internet. It appeared quite early on that this was all going to be Marvel related. The threads of this took a few turns. Marvel Lego games , requiring Utube videos and lots of reading to unlock some pesky characters the boys wanted. This involved some input from me when they needed difficult words spelling or they were excited and wanted me to see what they had achieved.

During the gaps where I wasn't needed I baked bread did chores and made these.   http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2013/07/make-your-own-reusable-peppermint-kitchen-wipes.html
With a puppy who likes to dig they came in very handy for muddy paw prints. They clean absolutely everything so I made a pine and a lavender version. Very Eco friendly and they smell divine!


At various points the children decided that they needed more help and seeing that I was having a cleaning spree they asked if they could help to speed things up, so I would be free to help them sooner. I have no problem with the children helping with chores, all great life skills that they will need and the house was looking much tidier in no time. The boys wanted to concentrate on their bedroom and playroom and did a brilliant job. Then we got back to researching all things Marvel.

Another link we were given by our generous HE friends was  http://marvel.com which has lots of interesting activities, relating to the comic series, including making your comics and numerous print outs, so we spent an afternoon looking at what was on offer.

Sooo up what have we covered so far? Reading, spelling, life skills, social skills, research skills, history, money handling skills and numeracy. In addition the children have read their normal large quantity of books, watched films and talked about everything!

Mid week looked at Picasso's monochrome work and did a mixed media piece. We used painting, printing and drawing techniques. The children found the concept of monochrome hard to grasp and I had a lightbulb moment remembering  I had some temporary tattoos stashed. After a short break, involving copious amounts of tattoos being applied to various body parts we completed this.

We also visited friends, had a lovely play at their new house and had a trip to the park when the boys were feeling a bit less wheezy.

Owen is enjoying getting to know our puppy Shadow better and is learning how to interact with him appropriately. Shadow is responding well and every week we notice great changes in him.


Usually at this time of year I have Halloween activities set up but if I am honest the children have never really expressed a deep interest so I decided to take their lead this week. This involved discussing Halloween, Day of the dead and where these traditions come from. I did have a Halloween evening activity booked but it was cancelled. In a way it was for the best as it was an outdoor activity and with the children's asthma being problematic I think they would have been too tired walking around the woods in the damp air. So a quick change of plans meant going to see 'Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs 2, the 3D version
and a family meal out at Pizza Hut . Both were a resounding success. http://www.cloudy-movie.com/tablet/#right Sam did his usual trick and danced and walked his way through the whole film. He finds it so hard to keep still and we try and go at quieter times so he has more wriggle room.

Halloween throws up many issues for the children. They get very stressed by the whole Trick or Treat thing. In the past they have dressed up but feel uncomfortable within minutes of putting on face  paint or costumes. Often the other people's costumes scare them and they sit in the window with a mixture of excitement and dread at the whole process. Usually it's a case of them throwing all the sweets at the first group of visitors that come to the door, then panicking when other people come and there is none left. No amount of prior prompting helps and for children with processing and social issues it's a bit of a minefield. Blokey doesn't cope well with the whole 'people at the door' thing, either.  On reflection keeping everything as low key as possible worked well and may become a family tradition until the children feel more comfortable with the whole idea.

As the boys had a late night out they decided to have 'a bit of a lie in' today, reading and chatting in bed until Blokey had gone to work. We enjoyed a leisurely breakfast around the table together and they declared a 'quiet day' was in order. This always makes me smile, as our days are often busy no matter what. So far our quiet day consists of me helping them with more research , building defences on Clash of Clans, card games and watching the tree surgeons. We even had a chat about what jobs they think they would enjoy and data protection.

The ASD team are still suggesting that Sam would be better placed back in school. They don't say why, or how and discussion with them on the subject leads to the inference that we are somehow 'controlling' Sam's negative feelings about school. Untrue, unfair and when you try to state the case against we are frowned on. At no point have they  offered a better solution to HE, explained what support Sam would be entitled to if he did go back into school or looked at the benefits of the education we are offering him. So how can they judge what's best? These are the many questions I am pondering at present.

You also have to question what actually is their role here. To assess for Autism or to represent a schooling system that failed our children on every level? Even Sam saying himself ( without us present), that he was very unhappy in school has not stopped the endless 'will you consider returning him to school' questions. To say I am finding it stressful and frustrating, is an understatement. All I can do is hope that they finally reach a decision soon and we can carry on doing what we do best without interference and judgement.

Despite if being a difficult week in some respects, it's amazing how many skills we have touched on and I have enjoyed watching the week unfold. I have felt rather low in myself and tired. My blood results are showing an issue which could well be causing a lot of the symptoms I am fighting against currently. I have to wait till next week to see the GP.