Pumpkins, carving, baking,tubing, partying and swimming.

It's the lead up to Halloween and half term for schools, which in the past has brought us problems. I have tried to plan ahead as much as possible and we have some nice activities to do. The first of which (witch) , was pumpkin picking at Bednall Farm and what a glorious Autumn day it was. I was glad Blokey was around to help, as it proved trickier to find than we were expecting and I don't think I would have managed an unfamiliar place alone. The clocks have altered and as expected my pain and attack levels ramped up for the season...it's a question of gritting my teeth now till February or March.

Lots of pumpkins...I was tempted to run through the field ( as much as I run..more an awkward lollop) and boot them all ..I am guessing that wouldn't have been good form.

The boys enjoyed a very bumpy ride in the farmers barrels.

Owen said he had dreamt about going in the ride that night..except he 'was wearing his black top' in the dream...this is him being puzzled by deja vu.

They climbed the straw bales

Then we headed off to the park and grab some lunch.

Sam is studiously trying to ignore Owens rendition  of 'I believe I can fly' which was on a loop today.

More singing

We found some windfalls and Owen pretended to eat one...

Anyone who knows him wouldn't be convinced by this ruse lol

After lunch we headed to the shops to look for Halloween things, we have a party to attend at the weekend and the boys assured me they would need outfits. Whether they wear them for more than 5 mins is another story ...but I am always game, in case this Halloween is the one....

Back home for chill out time and catching up with friends online. I was glad of Blokeys help again today..it often makes the difference between us getting out or not. I am struggling with my pain management and the fatigue it brings and he's been an enormous help since changing his working hours. Even so I am exhausted again today...which annoys me.

Rainy day today so we carved our pumpkins and make window decorations. Read..everything and everyone was covered in pumpkin. I made spicy pumpkin soup and bread..true to tradition, the children didn't eat the soup.

Yes Sam is just wearing an apron and pants..I think it gives him a kind of blacksmith look.

Decorating the windows.

They had free play in the afternoon and jujitsu in the evening. Sensei is going to decide next week if they are ready to take another belt grading.

Another rainy day, there was a lovely mist across the fields again and all the webs are sparkling with dew. Sam is reading till late, despite our efforts to get him off to sleep earlier. He was tired yesterday and it had an impact on his mood. Thankfully, last night, he decided not to read because 'I am really tired'. It's good he understood how important his sleep is and thankfully he got up today his usual sunny self.

The children want to do some baking today, so we made double chocolate chip cookies. They insisted on both doing it together, reminding me how hard it is to juggle both their needs at once. I split them up in a pincher movement, giving them various tasks...it was still like spinning plates.

Owen cut up the choccie buttons for our chips.

Sam did some weighing and measuring.

Sensory overload with the mixer as usual

Owen decided to do a spot of colouring whilst Sam and I washed up and the cookies baked.

Later Sam worked on Khan maths and Owen and I did some multiplication and a spot of Spanish.

Sam asked to be woken early so he could see Blokey before he went to work. He was up with us at 6am and very chirpy *yawns*. As soon as Blokey left at 7 am Sam wanted to crack on with activities. Fortunately, I managed to hold him at bay until I had finished my coffee...just.

Sam coloured some Sugar skull pictures. He's still having issues with pen pressure and using scissors but he had a good practice with both. As we worked happily alongside each other, we chatted about the Day of the Dead and how it compared to Halloween trick or treating etc. He decided he liked the Day of the Dead idea better...but he would still like to go trick or treating too.

Next he wanted to work on his maths skills and boy did he work. It's was, I will just do 5 more , then another 5 ..then more..and so on. He even looked at time telling, which is very hard for him and I tried explaining it a different way, which seemed to help. The main issue is trying to keep him from panicking about a new skill. He managed to stay calm today and it helped. So today he covered equivalent fractions, multiplication, division ( made some real headway in understanding today) and time telling, amongst other things. His ability to write numbers is improving using the scratch pad on Khan and it's lovely that he is recognising it himself too. Sam is taking great pride in this.

When Owen got up he was really struggling. I tried but couldn't get to the bottom of it and he was in full demand avoidance. Just getting through breakfast was exhausting and he went into full meltdown after doing a brief bit of colouring.  He then got his book and read in solitude. After some time playing in his room with his sensory toys, and me doing yoga to calm myself, he decided to work on some maths and Spanish. We haven't had a blow up that bad for some time thankfully...lots of challenges but we normally manage to head those of with careful planning and negotiations. We were both exhausted afterwards.

I was planning on taking the boys to a new ASD friendly sports club tonight , but due to the difficult morning, I decided today wasn't the best time to introduce a new activity and people. It felt much more appropriate to keep things as calm as possible, in order that the boys can enjoy their group activity with friends tomorrow.

Tubing day! We have all been looking forward to this. All the families involved have their own needs to consider and it was a real team effort from everybody to make sure it went well. All the children and adults had a brilliant time and we decided it's something we would like to try again. I am always glad of the laughs and support this special group of friends gives us. It was great to have a really successful day out after yesterday's difficulties.

We were still laughing and giggling on the way home...despite me doing one of my epic stunts and falling into a picnic table...it was rather embarrassing being helped up by a pair of pensioners!

The next day I was absolutely exhausted, despite a good nights sleep. I took it easy whilst Blokey helped Sam learn to use a video capturing device. Afterwards Sam and Owen worked with friends online, trying it out. Blokey kindly out some shelves up for me and popped out to the shops to get supplies. I was worried I wouldn't make the Halloween party planned in the evening but rallied later for a few hours. Blokey suggested we grab some chips on the way to our friends house, so I didn't have to think about cooking...which really helped.

The wig was fun and it took some people a while to realise who I was...Blokey was quite taken with it too. Since my hair has started falling out again, it might be a good option! 😂😂

We all had a great time, our friend has laid on lots of yummy treats and the children were very excited. When we got home, the children soon fell asleep, and both adults were nodding off in their chairs not soon afterwards.

We woke to a foggy November morning and marvelled at all the dewy cobwebs on the hedgerows as we drove to the swimming baths. I wasn't really feeling up to much but knew Owen wouldn't go if I wasn't there to encourage him. Both of us lurched around the pool half heartedly and I staggered out, dragging my dodgy leg behind me. Blokey was being a task master but I can honestly say my heart wasn't in it this morning and I struggled to maintain any form.

Back home we topped up the bird feeders and mooched around....I feel dead on my feet and a bit nauseous with a migraine ...hoping no one notices shhhh. My head is hurting again and my left side/face feels like it's about to slide off...BLERGH.

A bit of a mixed week but on the whole really good and some very welcome belly laughs inbetween the bad bits.

Planning, maths, history, climbing, squash and cookies.

As our new hours mean and earlier start for me and Blokey, I blearily waved him off at 7am. Sam was up just after and he was feeling rather lack lustre and a bit quiet for him. He decided to do some maths problems and he's still not quite getting fractions, so I tried to explain it in a different ways, using drawings and descriptions. After a few attempts he looked up and said ...'oh I think I get it now' and we had a look at comparing fractions with different denominators...it seems to help him if I use more visual clues, so I will get the fraction kit out of the cupboard another time to see if it helps him.

I will see how Owen feels when he gets up. He was struggling with most basic tasks yesterday after swimming, which indicates he is tired, overwhelmed or both. My feeling is to give them both a quiet day to do their own things, which will allow me to do some forward planning for upcoming activities.

Owen wanted to carry on with his Hama Pacman project and we worked on some Khan before that.

The Pacman project is growing, there was a lightsaber thrown in for good measure to ( for Dad because he loves Star Wars) .

After this I spent time making up an activity basket and list of things to do over the coming weeks. Often these are things the children have expressed an interest in doing or new things I think they may enjoy, with some old favs thrown in. I took some time to withdraw stuff that hadn't grabbed them, or books we had filled and no longer needed, then shuffled everything round so it was fresh.

It's a balancing act between not overwhelming them and allowing the children's PDA side to have some control over what they do. Also if there are too many things on offer, the children can't focus on what they want..it's always a balancing act, depending on their needs and I have had to learn not to be disappointed if an idea isn't picked up ...sometimes months or years later , they suddenly run with it.

Owen was cheerful when he got up, but Sam needed some coaxing as he wasn't feeling the love. We looked at the activity box and chose some things to do.

Uno is a great game for thinking and strategy development..also good for my two because they have to think quickly.

Next we tried one of our new Brainbox games..they boys were very sceptical but I encouraged them to at least give it a try. I wasn't sure if the timer element of this would prove tricksy and initially Owen fixated on the sand running down instead of the game. I offered not to use it but both children really wanted to carry on with the game 'properly'. I got round the issue by moving the timer out of sight and the game flowed better after that.

For a simple game there are a lot of skills involved memory, timing ( mild peril..I kid you not) , retention of historical facts etc etc. Once started both children really enjoyed it and they wanted to play much longer than I had anticipated...definitely a good choice and we have a couple of different subjects to try out yet.

Sam found a card in the box and completed the learning style questionnaire.

He laughed when I said:

'See, I told you, you were unique!'

After this I showed the boys the Learning Works for Kids site, that has extended its range of educational games etc. Sam is quite keen to look at it and try some ideas on there tomorrow, as it now has a facility to hand pick games to suit individual needs.

http://learningworksforkids.com

I wake to a rainy, dark morning, the house feels lovely and cozy, I know my Winter greens need the water so I sigh contentedly. The boys are still fast asleep, so I use the quiet time to look at money saving ideas. At one point I have Pinterest, lots of websites and my budget planner on the go. I manage to do a bit before my I get a cluster attack and realise it's time to step away from the screen and treat it the pain.

Normally we make all of our own bread but there are times it's hard to judge the perfect time to bake. Sometimes the children eats loads of it and I can't keep up, sometimes I am too poorly to do it and sometimes I end up throwing half a loaf away..which irks me, as I hate waste.

 Found a recipe for 'fridge bread', which means you can have dough ready in the fridge and rattle up, loaves, pizza bases, naans and rolls quickly. I decide to give it a go. I know from experience that if I send Blokey to the shop 'for a loaf', it will cost dearly. He can't just buy a loaf and invariably comes back with bag of generic crap we don't need. So I nodded in deep understanding of this post:

http://mortgagefreeinthree.com/2013/01/the-most-expensive-loaf-of-bread-in-the-world/

By the time Sam surfaced sleepily, I had my first batch rising and he watched and asked questions whilst I made granola. We talked about money, why I wanted to save on what we spent on food and then he drifted off on to one of his favourite subjects...'if I had three wishes' ...and what he would wish for.

Here's the granola recipe I used, but I leave out the walnuts..because I don't like them...prunes for the win here.

http://mortgagefreeinthree.com/2014/04/frugal-indulgence-maple-and-walnut-granola/

Whitzend version

Sam wanted to do some painting today and decided to decorate his meerkat. He has had this sitting in his room for over 3 years now...a perfect example of how reshuffling the activity box and refreshing things can reinvigorate ..yes I stole it out of his room...shhhhhhh.

As usual it was a case of, you do this bit, I will do that bit with him. It used to worry me but I can see now it builds his confidence and often he will go on to completely take over once he 'warms up' to his activity. That's what happened today, I present his finally finished , very colourful Meerkat. Sam was making lovely , little happy noises as he worked and I resisted the urge to squish him..

We followed this with some maths problems , which he flew through.

Meanwhile, Owen informed me he wanted to 'make tea for Dad today' and watched Wldkratts until I was free. We did some maths on Khan, then looked at what was in the fridge and cupboards to cook with. After some discussions about the pros and cons of various ingredients and ideas, he settled on Thia Green Curry. I hovered a bit ( a lot ) over the bits involving a sharp knife and moved his thumb once or twice ( gulp) but generally, knife wise, he had listened and watch my instructions well.

He was very serious throughout the tasks despite not enjoying the smell of the curry paste. I explained about why we were making double the amount, budgets and the bonus of having a spare meal in the freezer. I showed him that I had bought extra this week because it was cheaper to do so, due to an offer at the supermarket.

He was delighted that his dad really enjoyed it when he got home and was still excited about his success the next morning.

The weather is a brighter today. We did some natural history and maths in the morning and then headed off to meet friends later.

We visited the sensory garden:

 

Chatted

Poked the pumpkin ( 'gently please boys , pumpkins can be squishy) 

Looked at the Winter Garden and bug houses

Got all Zen

Ran through the plants looking for some new surprises.

Peeked from behind bushes

Gurned at mum

At the adventure play area, Sam demonstrated his bell ringing to his friends ..

We spotted more rainbow trout in the river

Ran around and laughed....a lot

Visited the maze and admired the vista...

Sam talked about how the Autumn was changing the leaves and how pretty it was ..'we are lucky aren't we mum? We have so many trees around us where we live..so I see lots of birds too.. I love trees..'

Back home we chatted and played. I felt really tired so Blokey brought our evening meal from the fish and chip shop on his way home. After all that fresh air, there wasn't much left when the boys finished!

I swept up leaves today, and made lists..my memory is so bad, I have copious amounts of lists and things to do. I have to use lots of coping strategies to try and minimise my brain fog..it's still hard to remember what I should be doing and I get exhausted easily. My pain is bad, and it drives me slightly to distraction.

In the afternoon we headed over to Awesome Walls..where the staff are so friendly it scares Blokey. Whilst they got busy on the walls, I held coats and drank coffee and tried to look human.

There then followed a pretty trying trip to B&Q , where I lost the will to live and had to save a shopping trolley from the boys. Persuading Blokey that now, wasn't the right time to browse and 'could we just grab the wire you wanted and leave now please!'. It could have been worse but my head was killing me by the time we got back in the car.

Later , when nerves were less frayed , we managed to all eat a meal together..the same meal..a new meal..with brown rice...get us...it's exciting times when that happens. The rest of the evening was spent with me looking like I had been run over by a bus, whilst staring into its headlights. Boy my head hurts..but it's my Clusterhead fest time of year..so I had better buckle up. Be nice if it decided to take some time off one year...thank goodness the Gamma Core device is at least turning the volume down a tad.

We took the children to the sports centre today to try squash..it was tiring and hilarious all at the same time. They did start to hit the ball a bit more in the end. Both have differing..erm...techniques..Sam runs around like a terrier, not always in the right direction and flails till he makes contact. Owen is rigidly stuck to the same spot, windmilling his racket like Pete Townsend in his heyday. Their success rate is ..variable ...and you have to be on the look out to avoid the balls they do hit, as they could go in any direction and I feared for my eye sight at times.

Later Blokey and I did some jobs, ordered some DIY stuff and baked bread. After lunch Sam was sad to see there weren't many biscuits left. We decided to make a batch of double chocolate chip cookies. We hadn't made this recipe before and it was surprisingly easy...when I say easy...well, as easy as it can be for a Mum who can't think straight for pain and a child with ADHD...we didn't get any on the walls and managed to follow the recipe. I did have to say 'please don't spin with the knife in your hand...put the butter in the bowl...that's the sink love...this is the bowl..' etc , etc...chuckle.

Blokey started hovering around whilst the cookies were cooling ...it wasn't long before Sam and he declared they were better than the ones from Millie's store. Sam was very happy with his efforts, we will definitely use that recipe again: 

http://mortgagefreeinthree.com/2012/04/double-choc-chip-cookies/

Sam decided he wanted to sell some of his old videos games, so Blokey helped him work out how much he could get. They then drove to Game and sold them on. Sam is saving for a price of recording equipment he needs for videos making. They also picked up a pizza on the way home, for which I was very grateful.

The following morning we were up early, despite the clocks going back...no one informed the dogs or children of this, so it was business as usual. We took Shadow for a training session and whilst Blokey listened to the instructor , I tried to keep the children calm and half listen and watch what she was doing with our dawg. Multitasking isn't my strong point these days. It was frosty when we headed out and we al came back cold and with soggy trouser bottoms. Sam especially so, as he had steadfastly refused to wear anything other than crocs with no socks. He jumped straight in the shower to warm up.

The rest of the day we mooches about at home, me trying to manage my pain and plod through the day, the children playing games.

Having a little rant here.....cause I am tired and feeling ill...it's the last part of this week ..so click on if so you don't lose the warm and fuzzy vibe ;-)

It is really hard to get the balance of moving forward with an issue and not escalating a situation spot on. Confrontation rarely works and timing has to be impeccable....and often hard to determine.

It's such a tightrope we walk...often under the gaze of others that don't understand..the 'just make them do it' the 'your the adult' comments are so unhelpful and hurtful.

PDA are parents are tired, fed up of justifying their methods  and doing their best. 

Yeah I get it wrong...frequently ...possibly daily at some times of the day ( read the everlasting bedtime struggles) ..when my mental reserves are low.

BUT ( people have often commented on the size of my butt), after years of tweaking and negotiating of trying to understand my children..quite often they forgive my mistakes, we are all allowed to make them , allowed to talk kindly to each other about it..and some how we muddle through in a bleary eyed way.

And it's worth every minute of soul searching, every conversation ( loooonng tangential ones ) , every explaination ( often at the end of a tiring day) ...because the rewards we reap later are SO cool. 

Unraveling these complex, funny, clever little people is a very moving experience..watching them suddenly make a huge leap forward through their fears...( even if it's eating an apple or finishing a piece of work) ..getting out of the house..etc..

I do love them so much and I an so proud of what they can do now.