I will see how Owen feels when he gets up. He was struggling with most basic tasks yesterday after swimming, which indicates he is tired, overwhelmed or both. My feeling is to give them both a quiet day to do their own things, which will allow me to do some forward planning for upcoming activities.
Owen wanted to carry on with his Hama Pacman project and we worked on some Khan before that.
The Pacman project is growing, there was a lightsaber thrown in for good measure to ( for Dad because he loves Star Wars) .
After this I spent time making up an activity basket and list of things to do over the coming weeks. Often these are things the children have expressed an interest in doing or new things I think they may enjoy, with some old favs thrown in. I took some time to withdraw stuff that hadn't grabbed them, or books we had filled and no longer needed, then shuffled everything round so it was fresh.
It's a balancing act between not overwhelming them and allowing the children's PDA side to have some control over what they do. Also if there are too many things on offer, the children can't focus on what they want..it's always a balancing act, depending on their needs and I have had to learn not to be disappointed if an idea isn't picked up ...sometimes months or years later , they suddenly run with it.
Owen was cheerful when he got up, but Sam needed some coaxing as he wasn't feeling the love. We looked at the activity box and chose some things to do.
Uno is a great game for thinking and strategy development..also good for my two because they have to think quickly.
Next we tried one of our new Brainbox games..they boys were very sceptical but I encouraged them to at least give it a try. I wasn't sure if the timer element of this would prove tricksy and initially Owen fixated on the sand running down instead of the game. I offered not to use it but both children really wanted to carry on with the game 'properly'. I got round the issue by moving the timer out of sight and the game flowed better after that.
For a simple game there are a lot of skills involved memory, timing ( mild peril..I kid you not) , retention of historical facts etc etc. Once started both children really enjoyed it and they wanted to play much longer than I had anticipated...definitely a good choice and we have a couple of different subjects to try out yet.
Sam found a card in the box and completed the learning style questionnaire.
He laughed when I said:
'See, I told you, you were unique!'
After this I showed the boys the Learning Works for Kids site, that has extended its range of educational games etc. Sam is quite keen to look at it and try some ideas on there tomorrow, as it now has a facility to hand pick games to suit individual needs.
http://learningworksforkids.com
I wake to a rainy, dark morning, the house feels lovely and cozy, I know my Winter greens need the water so I sigh contentedly. The boys are still fast asleep, so I use the quiet time to look at money saving ideas. At one point I have Pinterest, lots of websites and my budget planner on the go. I manage to do a bit before my I get a cluster attack and realise it's time to step away from the screen and treat it the pain.
Normally we make all of our own bread but there are times it's hard to judge the perfect time to bake. Sometimes the children eats loads of it and I can't keep up, sometimes I am too poorly to do it and sometimes I end up throwing half a loaf away..which irks me, as I hate waste.
Found a recipe for 'fridge bread', which means you can have dough ready in the fridge and rattle up, loaves, pizza bases, naans and rolls quickly. I decide to give it a go. I know from experience that if I send Blokey to the shop 'for a loaf', it will cost dearly. He can't just buy a loaf and invariably comes back with bag of generic crap we don't need. So I nodded in deep understanding of this post:
By the time Sam surfaced sleepily, I had my first batch rising and he watched and asked questions whilst I made granola. We talked about money, why I wanted to save on what we spent on food and then he drifted off on to one of his favourite subjects...'if I had three wishes' ...and what he would wish for.
Here's the granola recipe I used, but I leave out the walnuts..because I don't like them...prunes for the win here.
http://mortgagefreeinthree.com/2014/04/frugal-indulgence-maple-and-walnut-granola/
Whitzend version
As usual it was a case of, you do this bit, I will do that bit with him. It used to worry me but I can see now it builds his confidence and often he will go on to completely take over once he 'warms up' to his activity. That's what happened today, I present his finally finished , very colourful Meerkat. Sam was making lovely , little happy noises as he worked and I resisted the urge to squish him..
Meanwhile, Owen informed me he wanted to 'make tea for Dad today' and watched Wldkratts until I was free. We did some maths on Khan, then looked at what was in the fridge and cupboards to cook with. After some discussions about the pros and cons of various ingredients and ideas, he settled on Thia Green Curry. I hovered a bit ( a lot ) over the bits involving a sharp knife and moved his thumb once or twice ( gulp) but generally, knife wise, he had listened and watch my instructions well.
He was very serious throughout the tasks despite not enjoying the smell of the curry paste. I explained about why we were making double the amount, budgets and the bonus of having a spare meal in the freezer. I showed him that I had bought extra this week because it was cheaper to do so, due to an offer at the supermarket.
He was delighted that his dad really enjoyed it when he got home and was still excited about his success the next morning.
The weather is a brighter today. We did some natural history and maths in the morning and then headed off to meet friends later.
We visited the sensory garden:
Chatted
Poked the pumpkin ( 'gently please boys , pumpkins can be squishy)
Got all Zen
Peeked from behind bushes
Gurned at mum
At the adventure play area, Sam demonstrated his bell ringing to his friends ..
Visited the maze and admired the vista...
Sam talked about how the Autumn was changing the leaves and how pretty it was ..'we are lucky aren't we mum? We have so many trees around us where we live..so I see lots of birds too.. I love trees..'
I swept up leaves today, and made lists..my memory is so bad, I have copious amounts of lists and things to do. I have to use lots of coping strategies to try and minimise my brain fog..it's still hard to remember what I should be doing and I get exhausted easily. My pain is bad, and it drives me slightly to distraction.
In the afternoon we headed over to Awesome Walls..where the staff are so friendly it scares Blokey. Whilst they got busy on the walls, I held coats and drank coffee and tried to look human.
Later , when nerves were less frayed , we managed to all eat a meal together..the same meal..a new meal..with brown rice...get us...it's exciting times when that happens. The rest of the evening was spent with me looking like I had been run over by a bus, whilst staring into its headlights. Boy my head hurts..but it's my Clusterhead fest time of year..so I had better buckle up. Be nice if it decided to take some time off one year...thank goodness the Gamma Core device is at least turning the volume down a tad.
Later Blokey and I did some jobs, ordered some DIY stuff and baked bread. After lunch Sam was sad to see there weren't many biscuits left. We decided to make a batch of double chocolate chip cookies. We hadn't made this recipe before and it was surprisingly easy...when I say easy...well, as easy as it can be for a Mum who can't think straight for pain and a child with ADHD...we didn't get any on the walls and managed to follow the recipe. I did have to say 'please don't spin with the knife in your hand...put the butter in the bowl...that's the sink love...this is the bowl..' etc , etc...chuckle.
Blokey started hovering around whilst the cookies were cooling ...it wasn't long before Sam and he declared they were better than the ones from Millie's store. Sam was very happy with his efforts, we will definitely use that recipe again:
http://mortgagefreeinthree.com/2012/04/double-choc-chip-cookies/
Sam decided he wanted to sell some of his old videos games, so Blokey helped him work out how much he could get. They then drove to Game and sold them on. Sam is saving for a price of recording equipment he needs for videos making. They also picked up a pizza on the way home, for which I was very grateful.
The following morning we were up early, despite the clocks going back...no one informed the dogs or children of this, so it was business as usual. We took Shadow for a training session and whilst Blokey listened to the instructor , I tried to keep the children calm and half listen and watch what she was doing with our dawg. Multitasking isn't my strong point these days. It was frosty when we headed out and we al came back cold and with soggy trouser bottoms. Sam especially so, as he had steadfastly refused to wear anything other than crocs with no socks. He jumped straight in the shower to warm up.
The rest of the day we mooches about at home, me trying to manage my pain and plod through the day, the children playing games.
Having a little rant here.....cause I am tired and feeling ill...it's the last part of this week ..so click on if so you don't lose the warm and fuzzy vibe ;-)
It is really hard to get the balance of moving forward with an issue and not escalating a situation spot on. Confrontation rarely works and timing has to be impeccable....and often hard to determine.
It's such a tightrope we walk...often under the gaze of others that don't understand..the 'just make them do it' the 'your the adult' comments are so unhelpful and hurtful.
PDA are parents are tired, fed up of justifying their methods and doing their best.
Yeah I get it wrong...frequently ...possibly daily at some times of the day ( read the everlasting bedtime struggles) ..when my mental reserves are low.
BUT ( people have often commented on the size of my butt), after years of tweaking and negotiating of trying to understand my children..quite often they forgive my mistakes, we are all allowed to make them , allowed to talk kindly to each other about it..and some how we muddle through in a bleary eyed way.
And it's worth every minute of soul searching, every conversation ( loooonng tangential ones ) , every explaination ( often at the end of a tiring day) ...because the rewards we reap later are SO cool.
Unraveling these complex, funny, clever little people is a very moving experience..watching them suddenly make a huge leap forward through their fears...( even if it's eating an apple or finishing a piece of work) ..getting out of the house..etc..
I do love them so much and I an so proud of what they can do now.
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