Cooking, nurturing , playing, coughing and surviving a difficult week.

It's December ..I have mixed feelings. Owen clearly does too and his stress levels are climbing by the day, despite us keeping it all very low key. 

Sam is still poorly and I take him to the doctors...both boys find that really hard and complain bitterly. I have quite a job getting them to the appointment on time. They are relieved when it's over and we can get home.They struggle all afternoon and Sam is more hyper because of his steroids. I have to reduce demands further, even so Owen is melting down frequently..although I know from past experience, it could be much, much worse.

That evening I decide that I will take a very much hands off approach for December, when I inform the boys the next day, they brighten considerably and think up a whole range of activities for themselves.

Sam is still clearly ill, he peak flow isn't coming up as fast as we had hoped and he's sad he will miss his jujitsu class.

We open our advent calendars and read the activity booklet that came with them.

Owen helps me put the shopping away , whilst Sam finishes his breakfast. They then go to get some games from the activity cupboard. Both boys organise which games to play first.

We settle on Operation to start. Owen found losing hard today and took himself off to calm down.

Sam and I played a physics/coordination game called Suspend..

We then move on to Tumbling Chimps.

Owen has decided he wants to 'make Dads tea' and researches recipes that use Coconut Milk ..'Dad likes curry, so I will make a chicken one'. 

This is what he decided on:

He realises we don't have curry powder so looks up how to make his own. He checks I have all the ingredients as he goes.

Then grinds the spices together in the pestle and mortar.

He's struggling with the knife because the onions are making his eyes water so much..so I help and he enjoys the onions and peppers sizzling in the skillet.

We clean as we go and I explain why this is helpful when working in the kitchen 'like Masterchef mum?'.

Soon the room is full of exotic smells, he adds the coconut milk and the meal is ready to be heated up later, when Blokey gets home from work. I explain the sauce will reduce down as it cooks and he helps tidy and clean up.

'That's smells good Mum..I think he will like that'...his face has lit up. 

I grab myself a cuppa ..I have been up since 6:30am and the boys have been busy since 7am ..phew.

The week has been very stressful for a variety of reasons, I have needed to call/email Specialists and try and deal with forms and complicated medical jargon etc. These things have to be done and we plod on juggling health, normal household stuff, home ed and being exhausted.

Sam decided he wanted to bake cookies in amongst all this. It was really hard for him to focus his mind and he span, hopped and jumped his way through it all. 'I am trying not to cough on the food too!' ..but we ended up with non coughed on cookies and he felt very accomplished.

We did our daily checks on the mushrooms we are growing and sprayed them with water.

On Friday Blokey had his rota day off and we decided to take the boys out . Sam is still not great but it lifted his spirits to have some time at the park . Owen did some climbing and seemed to emerge from his shell enough to enjoy running around and was more chatty. He has said he has been worried about his brother coughing. It's clear to see there's a lot niggling him at the moment, I resist the urge to quiz him before he is ready to talk. I have learnt he will talk when he ready and me pushing him will add to his stress. I make sure I am sat close by throughout the week and he feeds me little snippets of information when he needs to.

They zip wired over ( and into)  puddles

We spotted different types of mushrooms

Used the excercise machines

Pushed a very lack lustre boy on the roundabout ( he loves to be spun very fast) 

Admired the noisy geese that greeted us.

Gazed into the water under the bridge...

We looked and talked about the interesting architecture of the Victorian houses that skirt the edge of the park. Then Investigated the cenotaph on the way back to the car...which all tied in with our project about remeberance day/our talks about the current conflict/war in Syria.

And afterwards we treated them to lunch out.

....on the way home, a very tired little boy, fell uncharacteristically asleep.

Today the the UK was hit by Storm Desmond. The wind howled and rain lashed the house but we faired better than the people of Cumbria and parts of Wales. We kept up with the news and watched clips as events unfolded. Some of the places worst hit were near where we went on holiday last year.

We snuggled up warm, chatted and played games together as a family. I caught up with friends and family and we did a bit of shopping and cooking together..including home made oatcakes.

We woke to a grey day and a rainbow seemed to signal that the worst of the storm was over. Sam and I looked at photos of the damage to Cumbria and hoped our friends up there were ok. Many people had to be evacuated.

Despite the cold and wet Owen went out with Blokey and they walked the dogs together.

We looked at our advent activities and went off swimming early. Sam is still getting breathless but we figured the exercise would do him more good than harm. He is so happy in the water and we managed to book him in for a assessment. He thinks he may like additional lessons to improve his technique, he needs the assessment to determine what level he is at. Wen suddenly changed his mind and asked if he could be assessed too, so we booked him in. It really depends on how the assessment goes as to whether we arrange further lessons, it may prove to soon for them but time will tell and it's their idea and their decision, we will just support them.

Vastness, supanovas, quizzes, time telling, money handling, mushrooms growing and not being very well.

Owen decided to make his own breakfast ..this involved cooking oatcakes ( the Staffordshire variety) and making himself a milky coffee. Coffee is a current obsession with Owen , we are going with it, frankly , I am just glad he's drinking something without me nagging him.

He's very vocal, even more than usual and is speaking so fast, I have to keep asking him to repeat himself. He's talking about the universe sandbox game on the PC, he wants to learn more about the 'the cosmos Mum' and 'supanovas'...I try to look intelligent and not to sing and Oasis song.

So we do some research...

He watches some videos about it whilst I make some bread...he finds a supernova.

More reading and watching

And a bit of work on Chemistry

And a mooch around physics for the heck of it...

He then went to experiment on the Universe application on the PC.

Sam did some reading, he has a new book about twins on his Kindle, then he wanted to do some more practice on his time telling skills. I love how his little face screws up in concentration when he's working it out.

We also downloaded a quiz app where you can choose the subjects and it sets some questions. Sam answered as many questions as he could on food and African animals. I wasnt surprised about his knowledge because I know he studies nature a great deal and is fascinated by wildlife...but his delight at being able to answer so many right, especially as it was timed ( which can be stressful for him), was delightful to see.

Later Blokey took them to Jujitsu class. Owen was over tired when they got back and needed cuddles as he was a little teary...it's taken ages to get both of them settled.

Owen made his breakfast again, whilst Sam and I worked together. We did some money work, researched products online that Sam wanted to budget for and ordered the one he finalised on.

Following on from that Sam wanted to do some more on Khan academy and set me tasks. This used to bother me, I wrongly assumed I was doing all the work. I now realise this is his way of coping with new skills. He sits by me and watches, I talk as I go, explaining how I work things out. A couple of times he pointed out an error I had made and then took over. He enjoying himself so much he sat there for an hour going through stuff with me. He's very confident on time telling now it's taken just over a week of him working solidly and because he wanted to do it, he has, quickly, beautifully and efficiently.

He looked at some other subjects and had a go at new problems etc.

He earned enough points to upgrade his avatar, so spent some time working out which one he preferred and how to change it.

After a while Owen asked for me to work with him but he still seems under the weather in himself, so we sang and hugged in between tasks. A new maths problem was learnt and we played some Uno, chatted and bonded. He wanted to do some money work and chores because he's seen a special offer...he didn't quite have enough money, so worked out what chores to do to make up the shortfall.

Everyone is very lack lustre today, Sam is looking very unwell and his peak flow is dropping. He is uncharacteristically quiet and I don't like his colour. I explain we may have to start a course of steroids if the salbutamol doesn't being his peak flow rate up. Both boys are very teary and I suggest a quiet day playing board games and watching films. 

Sam still insists on doing more work on his time telling lessons .

We all play Uno and Owen informs me ( quite rightly) that I have told them some of the rules wrong. He reads through the instructions and explains the error of my ways.

Sam plots his next move...I swear the colour seemed to be draining out of him as the morning went on.

Owen decided to play with his friends on the home ed servers but Sam wanted cuddles and chats, so we snuggled the sofa. 

Next day Sam is no better and we start his steroids, I hope we can keep him home and manage till the GP practice opens in Monday ..fingers crossed. Steroids aren't ideal but I am hoping he picks up soon.

Owen listens to music and plays games with me and Sam whilst Blokey fixes a special light switch in Owens room. It's one we can set to go for after a certain time, Owen can over ride it every hour but we are hoping it will mean he doesn't leave it on quite so often. He's started switching the light on in his sleep and it's been upsetting him.

The "horror" of having the electricity off is quite stressful for the children 😂😂 but I manage to keep them occupied so Blokey can crack on. 

Sam got the Buy It Right game for us to play and had his first stint at being the banker. It's quite a lot to take on and remember your place in the game. Blokey and I reminded him when he forgot what he was doing...which is hard for him on a good day, but pumped full of steroids was more of a tall order. He did really well but 'I may not do banking next time we play ..I was busy all the time!'.

Sam was very upset to miss his swimming session today, he's still poorly and the steroids haven't kicked in fully yet. I cheer him up with cuddles and showing him our mushroom growing kit.

'Lets do it mum!' ..so we get to work.

I explain that the White 'fur' inside is the mushroom spores..

Sam: is it called mycelium mum?..they have that in Minecraft . 

I tell him he is absolutely correct and he looks incredibly pleased. We need to soak the growing compound and mycelium overnight, so he helps me get it prepared.

And we are ready to grow..Sam has taken responsibility for spraying the mushrooms daily..I just have to remind him ... Read...I put a reminder on my iPad to remind me, to remind him 😜

Bike rides to the park, the eye of the storm, resting, birthday parties, small claims, the cosmos and Wildlife

After the wild weather in the night, the morning got off to a brighter start. We had kite flying or bike riding on our list. Since the wind had dropped considerably, we decided bikes were the order of the day.

There was the inevitable scrum for the bikes and both boys lost their tempers with each other. Once that was sorted, we headed off to the post office, got some cash and cards we needed for later in the week. On to the park for a play and then a ride out of the village down the lanes. 

Owen going all 'ommmm' on me.

I always feel nervous about going on the roads out of the village, today was no exception. There is a lot of construction work going on locally, due to road/rail 'improvements' a mile or two away. This means many more lorries coming up the narrow lanes.

It was hairy..to be fair 99% are really brilliant and careful when they see us..but one driver nearly ran us off the road and Sam got understandably concerned and wanted to turn back after a few miles. I had to agree with him. He's extra nervous since being knocked off, when someone failed to stop at a junction at our old place..this incident didnt help much.

We cover a few miles and shouted hello to the people we passed...'nice dog!' was called to a few walkers and people smile as we go by.

Maths today, which means Khan academy. Sam wanted to do some more work on time telling..he's making connections between rival he different phrases like 15 mins past and quarter past now too.

Owen worked on absolute values and answering maths questions from a sentence. He finds these things annoying and has to be reminded to read all of the 'story' so that he knows what they are actually asking him. It's mad really, if they just asked the question out right he would have it in a flash...but the ASD part of him finds it hard to pick apart all the red herrings in sentence style questions.

'Why don't they just SAY that mum?!' He insists on seeing the session to the end and gets into the swing of it a bit towards the end..it just reminds me about how hard he has to work to understand certain dialogues.

I also taught him how to play Majong and he was rather hooked on it.

 

I needed to rest this afternoon, so the boys played on the home education server with friends, whilst I had a lie down. Suddenly the wind got up and a tremendous storm started. It felt like the roof would lift off and freaked both dogs and children out. Blokey and the children battled the bad weather to get to jujitsu but it was still howling a gale all evening.

Sam struggled to settle to sleep and came down asking us to 'switch the wind off please!'.

The next morning, Sam was up early and came outside to assess the 'damage'. There were many leaves and twigs all over the garden, so he followed me round whilst I swept them up and we discussed the benefits of leaf mulch. We then played with Shadow and did some training. 

Sam was in 'full on mode' now..think squirrel on speed..so I was doing my best to slow him down. I hadn't even had my breakfast yet and he was pushing things on at warp factor. It didn't help that I was feeling terribly sick. I explained I needed to do my treatment and then we could move on to the next thing. Of course Sam being Sam, he had forgotten in five minutes and was doing a laps around me as I used my gammercore and firing rapid questions ( which he didn't need answers for) at me the whole time. I take a deep breathe and try to swallow my anti sickness meds...it's still only 7:30. It's like someone filled him with mints and Coke. He's made so much racket Owen has come down to complain about the noise.

I get Sam writing birthday cards and he settles (as much as he is able) into some maths work. I try and get Owen to decide on breakfast ...it takes some time and he's grouchy and avoidant ..apparently Sam is 'wrong'....I head that off at the pass and see Owens mouth settle into a firm line *sigh*.

We are off to see friends this afternoon, and there is a birthday theme because it's our twin friends birthdays this week. Sam does a good job on their cards.

Since writing is a particularly hard thing for him, it's good to see an improvement and that he's taking pride in his achievements.

Owen finally finishes his breakfast and works on his maths. It's a new lesson and he winces at the thought of learning a new method...we go through it together and I help explain the stages he needs to follow. By the fifth one it's starting to click with him and he takes over and brightens considerably.

Afterwards he writes his friends cards really nicely 'don't watch Mum'. I am still feeling really poorly but I am hoping that I can get us to our friends house later for the party. Since leaving the house causes them stress , I have scheduled in free play for the rest of the morning to keep anxiety to the minimum.

Owen hugs me and says 'sorry I was grumpy mum' and goes off to play.

I carry on throwing up for most of the morning..it's been a miserable time and the pain in my head has me rocking and crying in private away from the children's eyes. I throw every med I have at it because I don't want to let them or our friends down today.

Thankfully I pick up enough to get us out the house for a couple of hours. We have a good time, even though I am aware I am lousy company again. I am very grateful people put up with me.

They are all such an amazing bunch of children ..*sighs happily* I get home and collapse in a heap. I thank the God of freezers for the defrosted home cooked meal I had the foresight to get out because it means Blokey has a hot meal when he gets home...sadly I can't face any food.

There's not much to write today..I am so poorly. Friends keep in touch via text to check on me. I feel incredibly low in spirit ..the pain just won't let up and I wonder how much more I can take. Despite this the boys work on their maths and are really helpful at meal times and generally keep themselves gainfully occupied. In the main I pace the house, use my meds and curse mentally at the crapness of today.

Blokey is off work today as he has to be in court ...we are perusing a small claim ( it's not small to us). The boys are very interested in the process and Blokey takes time to explain what we have to do. Owen is very keen to come along...we suspect he wants to intimidate the people who owe us money.

Blokey dons his suit and the boys find this hilarious..I faff about with instructions and we check his notes..I strongly suspect I am not helping..my mental functioning leaves a lot to be desired and I am so glad I am not expected to attend.

When Blokey leaves Sam spends ages working on his time telling skills...he can actually do it more accurately than me right now..he beams with pleasure at his achievements and works solidly, asking for more and more problems to solve. He can even do it with an unlabelled clock but due to the writing process being hard , he checks his number chart to make sure he's writing them in correctly.

Owen and I try and work on simplifying fractions,we both scratch our heads over this as they are getting more complicated as we progress. Our hearts really aren't in it today so we look at absolute values instead for a while. 

Owen admits he can't get his head round maths 'like this..and what actually do I need these fractions for anyway?' ..I do agree with him but explain about exams..but again, if it's not something he needs at the moment why push him into boredom with it? It's clearly not the right time ( I wonder if there will be one but I have been surprised before). 

'I want to look at cosmology Mum' ...so that's what we do. 

We chuckle at the scale of our world and 'puny people' compared to the universe.

Owen: Wow Mum, it's very hard to grasp isn't it...? He doesn't the sign with this hands to express 'mind blown '...

' and you know what? When you see how insignificant we are in the universe. It really does wonder why we are bothering to learn about fractions at all!' He rolls his eyes dramatically and I laugh.

Me: with fractions it's all just about sharing cake and pizza out really isn't it? After that ..

Owen: yeah..just numbers..we are all just numbers...he chuckles ...and I will leave you with that bombshell Mum.

I have been laid up with shingles this weekend , just a consequence of being run down etc. Blokeys is helping out but after 1 day in bed resting,  I get totally stir crazy and we decide we will visit the Peak Wildlife Park. We have been in the past but it's changed hands and was rescued from the brink of closure last year, so we didint quite know what to expect.

Despite wrapping up warm..it was FREEEZING on the moors but we had a fab time. We were the only people to brave the cold, so it was us and the staff. It was such fun, we got to talk for long periods to the keepers and they asked us if we wanted to help feed some of the animals..which we did. We had a  rare opportunity to find out a lot more about the various personalities of the creatures.

This is Alan..he has recently developed a strange interest in trousers.

We fed Wallabies and Capybara 

Got to stroke the Wallaby's , who were timid but inquisitive.

Learnt all about the penguins and the local heron that steals their left overs ...we were treated to him swooping overhead after we watched the Penguins dive for their dinner.

More animals

Running around, laughing and taking photos:

 The boys had a wonderful and educating time...even if it did take us ages to warm up afterwards.